Monday, February 11, 2008


After dealing with JewelFire's death all day, it just feels WRONG to even suggest that they might not be what she said was beyond the veil of death. Every ounce of my being wants her to be there, and to be at peace and to be happy.

If I knew that death were like what she said it was, I would not fear it so much. But I don't know. It is what she said it is...a veil...the mystery beyond. I don't know if there is a paradise or darkness beyond that veil. I want to know very badly, but only if it turns out to be be a good place.

Militant agnosticism. Easy words to say. But so hard to believe when the brutally unfair happens. Never is the desire for eternal bliss stronger than after to the dearth of someone who should not have died.

Cancer. The life take. The love taker. I fear your touch above all others. You took my father, my uncle, my best friend, and little Jewel.

Sigh... Sorry if this is a whining post. I'm just too tired right now to care.


Mykyl said...

It is not whining sir, it is release.

I was sad but pretty much ok until I had to turn the music off. I could not do it, until Princess came and stood with me...

AuroraSkye said...

Hi there Alphonsus --

Even though we share some friends in Faeria - for whatever reason I never visited this blog before. But I came today and wow -- you have some very insightful and thought-provoking posts here. I can see me coming back and spending lots of time going back and reading the earlier ones.

Anyway, I just wanted to say hi and I hope it is ok that I post a link to your blog from my blog. And what you wrote about Jewel and thoughts of the afterlife are so poignant.