tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6412625856834805307.post2950360894082271218..comments2023-10-02T11:25:21.253-04:00Comments on Alphonsus's Random Drivel: I’ve ruined enjoyment for thousands. What dorks! LOL!Alphonsushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04192464766840495112noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6412625856834805307.post-52566652031350890542007-07-31T11:39:00.000-04:002007-07-31T11:39:00.000-04:00The key that you have found, Mykyl, is that in mak...The key that you have found, Mykyl, is that in making yourself suddenly seem real and caring, you suddenly become "human" to them. This is probably part of what causes their confusion. And with luck, this suprise realization may have changed them enough to see all SL residents as at least potentially human, and thereby they became non-griefers. By validating them, you, to, become validated by them, and by extension, they then may be able to validate others.<BR/><BR/>Unfortunately, there are circumstances in which this approach is not practical. A griefer who appears at a business meeting, or during a concert, or during the appearance of an important guest speaker, the disruption caused by the griefer is too...er...disruptive. An immediate, non-reaction ban is best under these circumstance.<BR/><BR/>I suspect that your approach does carry into RL in some instances. Kidnappers who suddenly can see their victims as human sometimes release them on this ground.<BR/><BR/>This may be a strategy to take in real life...it is a recommended strategy by police, if you are being victimized and can't escape. But it isn't a 100% reliable strategy. Suicide bombers are described as "social misfits." An act of validation that they are worthy may actually work. There is, however, a non-insignificant probability that it will not. Certainly something to try if no other options are available to you. But, if other options do exist, well, the consequences of failure are too high in this instance. It is also far less likely to be sucessful in dealing with groups. Mob mentality...the fear of looking weak to their peers, would take presedence. I strongly doubt that the 911 bombers would have stopped simply because someone hugged them.Alphonsushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04192464766840495112noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6412625856834805307.post-86116595429344939202007-07-31T11:02:00.000-04:002007-07-31T11:02:00.000-04:00I got caged the other day. Instead of reacting wit...I got caged the other day. Instead of reacting with screams and shouts or indignation, I simple deleted the cage and began talking with the person. I think I shocked her, as I made no mention of what she had done, simply started a normal conversation, welcomed her to Faeria, asked how she was doing in SL, asked about what she enjoyed or disliked, and treated her (quite possibly a "him" in [rl] based on certain reactions) with the same respect I would anyone else. The end result was that this person offered me friendship and has been back a couple of times to see how I'm doing with my palace and generally engage in conversation, without any griefer activity.<BR/><BR/>This may be a very naive approach on my part, and it could come back to bite me someday, but I have yet to ban anyone from Faeria, and I have encountered many of her type and had basically the same results. It seems like simply being nice to them and asking (instead of telling) them to put on clothes or stop what they are doing is the most effective defense.<BR/><BR/>It's really difficult sometimes to keep from reacting to them the way they wish, and it might not work in [rl] because they would be able to see the frustration or anger on my face, but I wonder what would happen if you told a suicide bomber on their way to do their job that you loved them unconditionally...<BR/><BR/>Naive? Stupid? Maybe - but could it make things any worse? At the very least, being nice to a griefer ruins their fun and gets them confused... :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com