tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6412625856834805307.post2766679686494415044..comments2023-10-02T11:25:21.253-04:00Comments on Alphonsus's Random Drivel: GENDERBENDER OMG!Alphonsushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04192464766840495112noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6412625856834805307.post-29644209170878648932010-01-21T23:25:32.755-05:002010-01-21T23:25:32.755-05:00[url=http://kfarbair.com][img]http://www.kfarbair....[url=http://kfarbair.com][img]http://www.kfarbair.com/_images/logo.png[/img][/url]<br /><br />מלון [url=http://www.kfarbair.com]כפר בעיר[/url] - שירות חדרים אנחנו מספקים שירותי אירוח מגוונים גם יש במקום שירות חדרים המכיל [url=http://www.kfarbair.com/eng/index.html]סעודות רומנטיות[/url] במחירים מפתיעים אשר יוגשו ישירות לחדרכם...<br /><br />לפרטים אנא גשו לאתרנו - [url=http://kfarbair.com]כפר בעיר[/url] [url=http://www.kfarbair.com/contact.html][img]http://www.kfarbair.com/_images/apixel.gif[/img][/url]Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6412625856834805307.post-17570266280114036842008-11-16T21:03:00.000-05:002008-11-16T21:03:00.000-05:00Torley as ever I love what you've written and this...Torley as ever I love what you've written and this post actually does strike a very personal chord with me. My story is perhaps even more complex than yours but your words still were very heartening to hear especially from one as loved as you are in SL. Sadly I can't share my story without betraying a confidence but maybe one day, as it's quite beautiful IMO.<BR/>Thank you for being you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6412625856834805307.post-28575178453621752772008-11-16T16:38:00.000-05:002008-11-16T16:38:00.000-05:00Personally.. I never ask someone's gender, or age....Personally.. I never ask someone's gender, or age. (woa.. Is it odd that I only ask about location?)<BR/><BR/>I let people be who they want to present themselves as.. and let them unveil themselves as they feel comfortable.. or not.<BR/><BR/>Great post Torley!Jordyn Carnellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16144999877343579000noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6412625856834805307.post-4600278550573495812008-11-16T16:16:00.000-05:002008-11-16T16:16:00.000-05:00Great article, Torley!I like the notion of "omnise...Great article, Torley!<BR/><BR/>I like the notion of "omnisexual" — a concept I would perfectly and I would have just added another of those issues to your post: <I>age</I>. In SL, age is pretty much irrelevant to any group — which is totally different from SL as well. I'm always a bit queasy when with my 39 years I'm among a group of people, all of whom might be 60+ and sometimes even 80+, and I have no clue — except perhaps after several weeks when one or two of them tell me their ages. Second Life is the ultimate generation-gap-jumping tool as well; working on a company where the managing team has on equal standing people with 23 years and 60 is immensely gratifying, specially when you only knew about their ages months and months after getting people to work together.Gwyneth Llewelynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03394790308025005462noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6412625856834805307.post-85653982721149247032008-11-15T00:21:00.000-05:002008-11-15T00:21:00.000-05:00Thanks Torley that was a great post :) The abilit...Thanks Torley that was a great post :) The ability to be who or what ever I want is the thing I love most about SL. I feel very fortunate that the friends I've made here for the most part don't have a problem with my gender switching. Though as anonymous had alluded to it was a great struggle as to when or if tell them. I struggled with it for quite some time feeling like I was lying to my best friends. Thanks again for your insightAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6412625856834805307.post-46738424454517546582008-11-14T23:20:00.000-05:002008-11-14T23:20:00.000-05:00Bloody brilliant. Thanks.Bloody brilliant. Thanks.Moggs Oceanlanehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17603374045478788009noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6412625856834805307.post-11238556694859718002008-11-14T20:36:00.000-05:002008-11-14T20:36:00.000-05:00Great post Torley. Enjoyed every sentence, but whe...Great post Torley. Enjoyed every sentence, but when you said "<I>I'd rise (not fall) in love</I>" you made my heart full. I'll use it from now on. Thanks. <BR/><BR/>And, btw, great pants. :pAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6412625856834805307.post-10943605047757015412008-11-14T17:52:00.000-05:002008-11-14T17:52:00.000-05:00As far as gender is concerned, I feel that I am my...As far as gender is concerned, I feel that I am my REAL gender in SL, while I am cursed with a non mod avie in RL. I do, occasionally, use an alt matching my RL gender, but then I truly feel that I am putting on an act and fooling the people around me, so I don't interact much. I consider it important that my partner knows about my situation, but as far as other people are concerned, if they get to know me in SL they already know ME better than anyone in RL. That should be enough. <BR/><BR/>Thank you for this post Torley.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6412625856834805307.post-27516350202958192122008-11-14T17:38:00.000-05:002008-11-14T17:38:00.000-05:00You continue to impress me Torley, thank you for a...You continue to impress me Torley, thank you for an insightful and thoughtful post. The sooner we dump the labels society imposes on us, the better.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6412625856834805307.post-26692268716988323682008-11-13T19:47:00.000-05:002008-11-13T19:47:00.000-05:00I am bisexual leaning towards asexuality, transsex...I am bisexual leaning towards asexuality, transsexual and disabled in my first life but very few people except the closest people and my medical professionals I discuss this with.<BR/>In SL I am primarily nonsexual Resident who blur gender lines with my male avatar and clothing designs because I enjoy doing so.<BR/>It was really nice seeing Torley write here Alphonsus.<BR/>I am not comfortable with wearing female avatars it just too uncomfortable for me on daily basis.<BR/>Sometimes I get down because I feel like what I am trying to create there would be no interest in it.<BR/>I was born both genders and raised as one I feel total uncomfortable with due to trauma but even though I am male, I am more then male too.<BR/>It is nice and inspiring to see how others are also able to see and discuss gender more then male and female gender homophobic stereotypes and roles.<BR/>It gives me hope that there is place for me too.<BR/>Thanks Torley and Alphonsus for posting this.FD Sparkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12893044927573951759noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6412625856834805307.post-47434276302044956882008-11-13T17:23:00.000-05:002008-11-13T17:23:00.000-05:00@Alphonsus: I am delighted it was a lovely topical...@Alphonsus: I am delighted it was a lovely topical fit for your wife, too! What a lovely intro and thanks for posting!<BR/><BR/>@Loaf: :D<BR/><BR/>@Mykyl: You're graciously welcome!<BR/><BR/>@Chestnut: Yeah, it's as outdated to me as referring to a car as a "horseless carriage". Well, almost!<BR/><BR/>@Anonymous: Thanks for filling in that hole! While I didn't address being EARNEST this time, I have before, and both (or more people) in a relationship should agree and be upfront with each other, or things will suck and crumble later. I generally suggest addressing this early on, because future expectations are built on that foundry of trust. Of course, the usual maxim of "no two are alike" is true, so this isn't fits-all advice: just what I've observed. And from personal experience, I've always revealed my "RL gender" near the start if asked.<BR/><BR/>@Joan: I enjoyed your post on the mix 'n' match very much! All too often, I'm saddened when labels constrict (like a mean boa snake!) than help us accessify and move on.▓▒░ TORLEY ░▒▓ https://www.blogger.com/profile/14739012768658265437noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6412625856834805307.post-51977279482070977702008-11-13T11:45:00.000-05:002008-11-13T11:45:00.000-05:00Fabulous post, Torley! Although I've not created ...Fabulous post, Torley! Although I've not created alternate gender and/or species avatars (though I think I'll try it now!), I've used Second Life to explore many aspects of myself that I've been too timid to reveal in first life.<BR/><BR/>I wholeheartedly support your view that we <I>all</I> contain the fullness of what it means to be human. We limit our potential when we assign labels and build boxes for ourselves. I've found that one of the greatest gifts of Second Life is the chance to take off those labels, climb out of those boxes, and get more connected with <I>all</I> of what we are -- and thus with humanity in all its breadth and depth.<BR/><BR/>Thank you for sharing this wisdom!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6412625856834805307.post-37583982810370093772008-11-12T22:08:00.000-05:002008-11-12T22:08:00.000-05:00Torley, while I have to say that I loved your essa...Torley, while I have to say that I loved your essay, and agree with much of what you have to say, I must remark on what you chose to leave out.<BR/><BR/>What about the other party in the friendship/relationship? Maybe gender DOES matter to them. Are you upfront right from the beginning in a relationship, in case it does matter to them, so they will not be hurt further down the road when the truth comes out, and they have become more emotionally attached to you? Or do you wait until later when you have a better sense of where the relationship is headed?<BR/><BR/>It's a difficult issue, and certainly a difficult conversation to have with someone you care about. How do you handle it? Knowing what you know now after so many various experiences, how would you advise someone to handle this type of disclosure?<BR/><BR/>(And please, I hope that neither you nor anyone else thinks that I am not open-minded; I am. It's just that what is acceptable in a SL relationship does not always translate well to a RL relationship, which is what some SL residents are hoping to find.)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6412625856834805307.post-51983671722753118812008-11-12T16:39:00.000-05:002008-11-12T16:39:00.000-05:00The idea that gender is binary is very outdated. ...The idea that gender is binary is very outdated. Thank you very much for sharing your insights on this topic.Chestnut Rauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03414933407901259482noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6412625856834805307.post-63638556043887133442008-11-12T11:27:00.000-05:002008-11-12T11:27:00.000-05:00Thank you Torley - I needed that.Thank you Torley - I needed that.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6412625856834805307.post-86390690096765096662008-11-12T06:53:00.000-05:002008-11-12T06:53:00.000-05:00As another guy who inhabits the online world in bo...As another guy who inhabits the online world in both male and female form, I must say that was an excellent post, and totally agree that RL gender should have no bearing on how we choose to represent ourselves.<BR/><BR/>Good one Torley :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com