Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Second Chances...sigh

If only we could do it all again, knowing then what we know now.

I'd start in the summer break between sixth and seventh grade. A simple trip to the doctor could have changed my life then and ever after.

Ah well. It is so very true that it does no good to dwell in the past. What's that quote? Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. Something like that, anyway.

The quote, I know, was by an author by the name of Carl Bard, or something like that. The name isn't important. The point was that it was all I could find about the man. I searched all over the net, even some books at work. Nothing. The quote exists in isolation. The quote could have been written sometime in the last 15 to 20 years, or it could have been written a century ago He was born, had a family, grew up, possibly got married and had children. He's listed as an author, but none of his works can be found today. All that remains of him is this single quote, which I can't even remember properly.

At least, however, he has that. A single quote from the past that reached out and touched someone in the present. How many billions of other human beings have far less than that?

That isn't really fair though. Each one of those billions of human beings have shaped the world we live in now. Their lives, their decisions, all of it DID matter. For the people we are and the people we meet from day to day were influenced, and perhaps even created, by persons now long dead and forgotten. The threads they wove through the souls of their brethren still remain today.

And yet I lay here in bed, feeling sorry for myself because I can't go back and change the past. The future is out there for my taking. Every day I have the opportunity to grab it, to try to make it mine. And every day I continue to live my little life of quiet desperation ... a management librarian in a mid-sized town. One among millions like me.

Why do we ask for second chances when we fail, continuously, to grab the first chances that are always available to us.

Love and hope, all my friends,

Alphosus

4 comments:

Wildstar Beaumont said...

the best is still to come, Alphonsus ! Always !

AuroraSkye said...

I sure know about regrets of past failures. And, unfortunately, I feel that I have waisted most of my life and I am not sure of how much of a present and/or future I have -- but as you wrote -- that is all we have so best to make the most of it. There are times when I feel that I am at least making the most of my time now and so many times when I feel that I am continuing to waste my time/life away.

Fortunately, lately, because I finally have a helper (tho who knows for how long-- she may need to move to Nebraska in two months :-() ....still, at least I feel like I am trying to make some changes and get some things done while she is here (and even on days when she is not here). I hope that she can continue to come and help me with my apt for as long as possible cuz it sure makes a difference to me, even tho it may be considered by most to be a small thing. I am very grateful to have her help for as long as it can be there. :-)

Thank you for your very thought-provoking post, Alphonsus. You sound so sad -- Sending hugs your way.

((((Hugs))))

malakyte said...

Perhaps this is too personal a question, but what would that trip to the doctor have discovered?

I am sorry about your birthday but thank you also for your thought provoking post. And i would love to be a librarian of any kind right now, just so you know. *chuckles*

The thing that everyone forgets though is that way always live in the now.. not the past or the future. It is my belief that if we devote more time to right now our lives would be fuller.

Anonymous said...

Of course, the possibility exits equally that in that "second chance" things could turn out even worse...