Sunday, March 11, 2007

Dazed and Confused...My natural state

I am once again experiencing the feeling of shutting down from too much activity and an inability to focus on one thing for any extended length of time. There is so much I want to do, and I can not possibly do them all. As a result lethargy and depression (albeit mild) is beginning to settle in.

I think my primary reason for my obsession with Second Life is the companionship. I hate being alone, yet so many of my projects require me to be just that. I am thus afraid to take up a paint brush again because painting is such a solo and lonely activity.

And then, when I do work on my solo projects, I hyperfocus to the point where the rest of the world disappears. When I emerge from this self-hypnosis, I gaze around me blurry-eyed, house messy, unshaven, and my bladder full to the bursting point. It is not a pleasent feeling. It is no wonder that I flit between projects...to stay hyperfocused on one thing for too long would quite litterally kill me.

Of all my Random Drivel posts, this one is Radommer and Drivellier than most. Sorry, it's just where I am right now.

2 comments:

Mykyl said...

We are very alike, sir. The only advice I can give is to stop letting it get you down. You are who you are, and are probably not going to change. Rejoice instead in your dreams, for yours are bright in spite of the darkness.

Catherine Moody said...

Oh no poor Alphonsus! I feel like that too. I need the companionship and so I haven't been doing things like working on my blog or music. It's bad ...

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